How to Identify a Dead Parrot Adapted from Monty Python [ Main image: https://www.sbs.com.au/guide/sites/sbs.com.au.guide/files/styles/full/public/131120-monty-python-parrot_wct5yg.jpeg ] I wish to register a complaint. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it? I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there. Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee! Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords. 'E's not pinin'! He's: * Passed on * no more * Ceased to Be * Gone to meet its maker * A stiff * Bereft of life * AN EX PARROT!!! Well, I'd better replace it, then. Related Articles: Maybe I Can Impress Her With My Holy Grail Quotes [link to: https://www.theonion.com/maybe-i-can-impress-her-with-my-holy-grail-quotes-1819583773 ] How to Identify an Idiot [link to: https://www.theonion.com/how-to-identify-an-idiot-1819583773 ]